A gentle, honest guide for anyone who is curious – or a little nervous – about starting therapy
First, let’s talk about getting here.
If you have found yourself reading this, something has probably been weighing on you for a while. Maybe you have been thinking about therapy for months, or even longer. You have Googled it late at night, talked yourself out of it, and come back to it again. The thoughts of trying something new, feeling vulnerable, and not knowing what happens during the first counselling session can put you off.
This is completely normal. Reaching out is genuinely one of the hardest steps. I’ve been there, too.
There are so many reasons why it takes time. You might worry about what it means to ask for help – whether it signals weakness, or that you are not managing. You might wonder what therapy is about, and what happens the first time you go to counselling. You might have had an unhelpful experience before, with a therapist who did not really understand you. Or you might be thinking about what others would think if they knew you were struggling.
Why is it harder for Muslims to seek support?
In many communities – and this is especially true in some Muslim cultures – struggling with your mental health is not something you are supposed to say out loud. There can be a feeling that these things should be dealt with privately, within the family, or through faith alone. Research confirms this is not just a personal experience: studies have found that certain religious frameworks, community stigma, and limited familiarity with mental health services all contribute to hesitation around seeking professional help.1
For Muslim women specifically, there are often additional layers: concern that a therapist will not understand your faith or will quietly judge it, fear of being misunderstood culturally, uncertainty about whether therapy is even compatible with your beliefs, and very practical barriers like childcare or cost.
If any of this resonates, you are not alone, and you are not behind. Whatever has brought you here, and however long it took, you are welcome.
Needing support does not mean your faith is weak. It does not mean you are not grateful, or not trying hard enough. Sometimes we just become so consumed by our own thoughts, that we need another person to help us find our way back to ourselves.
Before the first counselling session
What happens once you get in touch?
I offer a free 15-minute consultation where you can find out if working together feels like a good way forward. Alternatively, you can email me and we can dedicate a full session to exploring your needs.
Once we have agreed on a day and time, I will send you two short documents before your first session:
- An intake form
This asks for some basic personal details: your name, contact information, and a little about what has brought you to therapy. It helps me prepare so we do not have to spend time on admin in our first session together.
- An informed consent form
Think of this as a working agreement between us. It sets out how we work together – things like session length, cancellation policy, what happens in an emergency, and the limits of confidentiality. I ask you to read it carefully and sign it before our first session. If anything is unclear, we can go through it together.
A note on confidentiality: everything you share in therapy stays between us. The only exceptions are if I have serious concerns about your safety or someone else’s. I will always explain this clearly from the very beginning, so there are no surprises.
The first counselling session
What does a first session actually look like?
Many people come to a first session feeling uncertain about what to say or how to begin. There is no right way to start. The first session is simply a conversation.
I will invite you to share what has brought you here – in your own words, at your own pace. You do not have to have it figured out. “I am not quite sure where to begin” is a perfectly fine place to start.
We will also talk about what you are hoping for. What would feel different if things were better? What would you like to be able to do, feel, or let go of? There is room for questions from you, too – about how I work, what the process looks like, or anything you are unsure about.
I will also briefly explain how I usually approach therapy. I often draw on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) – which sounds more clinical than it is. In practice, it means we look at how your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours connect, and we work together to find patterns that might be keeping you stuck. It is practical, structured, and grounded in what is actually happening in your daily life.
One thing I want to be honest about: therapy works best when both of us show up for it. I will be fully present in our sessions, but the real change happens in the week between them – noticing things, trying small things, being willing to reflect. I do not say this to put pressure on you, but because it means you are the one doing the work, and that is something to feel good about. The goal is that you need me less and less, and you’re becoming more and more aware of your feelings, and confident in your choices.
The first session is not a test. You do not have to impress me or have the right answers. It is just a chance for us to meet, to see whether this feels like the right fit, and to set goals so we both know what we’re working towards.
A final thought
Asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do. Especially when the world around you has sometimes made you feel like you should just cope, or pray harder, or wait until things get worse.
You do not have to wait until things are worse.
If you have been sitting with this for a while and you feel you want to give this a go, I would encourage you to trust that feeling.
If you have questions, or you would like to get a sense of whether this feels right before committing, I offer a free 15-minute consultation call. No pressure, no obligation, just a conversation.
- Ali, S., Elsayed, D., Elahi, S., Zia, B., & Awaad, R. (2022). Predicting rejection attitudes toward utilizing formal mental health services in Muslim women in the US: Results from the Muslims’ perceptions and attitudes to mental health study. International Journal of Social Psychiatry, 68(3), pp. 662–669. doi:10.1177/00207640211001084 ↩︎
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